Aparagraha

This week we wrapped up our summer series on the Yamas of yoga with Aparagraha. This concept has several translations, all similar but different at the same time and I felt them all important.

Aparagraha = Be grateful, Don’t take more than you need, Share and Let it go

We started with Be Grateful. For the kids who have been in my class since last year this is nothing new. We use gratitude journals form November through December and talk about having an “Attitude of Gratitude” all year long. One yogi talked about how she visited a friend who lived in a small apartment and how it made her thankful for her own home, but how even a small home is something to be thankful for when there are kids without homes. It’s funny how easy it is to think of things we are grateful for, but how we tend to go through each day without having those thoughts cross our minds. To practice Aparagraha we have to make it a conscious decision to stop for a moment and be grateful. I, once again, encouraged our group to make it a daily practice to stop and think of one things they are grateful for.

Don’t take more than you need…. We recalled Asteya (not stealing – things, time, energy, feelings) and related it to Aparagraha, not taking more than you need. A few of our yogis have spent the summer at the Boys and Girls Club and there are often snacks or treats the staff brings out for the kids. One of our yogis mentioned how cranky she gets when she is hungry and how she likes to take 2 or 3 of whatever is handed out. She paused for a moment and said “I should make sure I only take one because if we run out than someone else might be more grumpy and hungry than me”. This self reflection and realization of how to apply these strange Sanskrit words in real life situations is exactly why we have these talks! We also talked, again, about natural resources. California is in the worst drought in our history as a state so I found this a wonderful time to talk about water conservation. Each of the kids had great ideas on how to save water by using only what they need. I’m sure their parents have asked them to turn off the water when they brush their teeth, but discussing it in the context of Aparagraha, of being a yogi on and off the mat, just reinforces how important such a little idea can be.

Sharing. A skill we try to teach from toddler hood on, but it bears repeating. The kids talked about how a friend had forgotten lunch so they shared their own (lot’s of food talk this class, maybe they needed a snack!). They talked about sharing in a friend’s excitement on their birthday; being happy for them and trying not to feel jealous about the attention or gifts the friend is receiving. We talked about sharing feelings, even when they are not happy ones, because we shouldn’t be afraid to express ourselves. This lead into “Let it go”. Which of course had them break into (Frozen) song! But I like to think the popularity of the song has something to do with the message, not just the Disney marketing machine behind it. Jealousy, anger, frustration…. all are valid feelings. We should acknowledge them and know we are human and emotions are OK. But those emotions can be unhealthy and there are things we need to learn to let go. Most of the kids talked about how they donate toys or clothes they have outgrown to share and let go of unnecessary possessions. We even got a little deeper and discussed how we can feel happy when we appreciate all the we have, yet feel upset when we let to much WANT into our lives. Wanting a bigger house, more toys, more clothes…. All that wanting just makes us feel LESS. If we let go of all those wants and practice gratitude for all we have we feel much more whole and happy.

So there was a LOT of discussion today. So much to talk about with one funny word! We followed up our discussion by dancing it out to Let it Go (with some freeze yoga of course). 

Finding the time to slooooow down

Just when I thought we were in for a nice relaxing summer free of rigid schedules and carpools… My son made the All-Star team for baseball. We are thrilled for him and excited to play, but I find down time to be so important. We had a team meeting over the weekend that one player missed because he was at water polo. We ran into a former teammate last night at dinner who made the 10 year old All-Star team but missed a practice because of Rugby.

A big part of the challenge of filling a kids yoga class for me has been that kids here are already so “booked” with activities. Sports, music, whatever it may be they have multiple classes/practices/commitments going at the same time. Add more than 1 child to the mix and you have a mom that has a color coded schedule on her at all times to know which way to turn next.

I won’t get in to commitments and over-extending our kids in this post. We live (here) in Southern California where our kids can play all the sports they love year round and I get it. The activities of the weekend just got me thinking about how important it is to get them to slow down, enjoy the moment and appreciate the opportunities they have. It’s hard, even for me! I attempt a home yoga practice but with 3 kids, 2 businesses, 2 dogs, 1 husband and a house to run its rare that I get enough time to really immerse myself in practice. I HAVE to go to a yoga class. There are always 5 reasons nagging me not  to go as I try to walk out the door and I’m usually still debating even leaving as I start my engine or begin the walk to the studio. Once in class I cherish the time in quiet, focused practiced. I am grateful that I stepped onto the mat and I leave feeling physically and mentally refreshed and ready to tackle the chaos of life with a more present perspective.

Don’t our kids deserve, and NEED, that quiet time too? Are they really present and enjoying each sport they play when they are hustling from one to the next? Are they appreciating the time and effort it takes for them to be able to attend everything they’d like to? Yoga helps kids slow down enough to practice gratitude. To notice the little things about the games they love. The pop of a baseball as it hits the catchers mitt. The smell of fresh-cut grass on the field. The cold of the water when they first dive in. The little things that should be planted like seeds in their memories to be cherished as they grow in fondness as time and age go by. Just like they practice on the field they need to practice being present in the moment. They need to practice the focus it requires to be successful in athletics. They need to practice how to stay calm and centered when things don’t go their way. They need to practice gratitude for the opportunity to play.

And what about the physical toll on those developing bodies? What are we doing to prevent injury and assure they can keep playing their sport in the years to follow? Strengthening supporting muscles, stretching frequently used muscles and allowing the nervous system to process that work is hugely important for a healthy athlete. More and more we see professional athletics organizations adding yoga to their training regime for good reason. They know they need to counteract the stress put on their bodies.

So if we are going to load up our kids schedules with sports and scouts and arts and everything else they have an interest in let’s add one more class in there to help them stay grounded, stay healthy and keep it all in perspective. Get them to yoga. Commit to at least 6 weeks and watch the benefits of yoga practice manifest before your eyes. And while they are at it, try a class for yourself too! Or check out a family class and spend some quality time together. I guarantee you’ll be glad you did!

Namaste!